FORCED INTO BUSINESS

When I was young, I did not know that my family was poor. I mean we slept on a bed, could eat dinner on kitchen tables while other kids in the neighborhood slept on the floor and ate dinners sitting on floor plastered and decorated with cow dung. Our mothers back in the village knew how to make good use of cow dung.  I'm sure some kids would compete on whose mother makes the best designs of floor and wall decorations using cow dung. 

But later in the years, reality kicked in. My dad was retrenched, started a small businesses which died out within three years. When we opened our eyes there was no money coming into the house. When I was 15, he passed on. I had seen the man hustle all his life to make sure he spends time with us and that we looked and ate good. Going to school without such good provision was going to be tough. 

My mom open a small shop few months after dad passed on. And to assist, I had to sell some to the products at school. So I became an entrepreneur after after my mom's bravery, out of necessity. I did not chose business. It chose me. 

Forced into busness

The last three to four years of high school was very interesting for me. I became an entrepreneur by force. I was forced to find means of survival out of necessity. I either had to sell or beg. I'm sure some of you know how this feels. There are people who chose to become entrepreneurs because they have a skill or product that can be marchandised. And then there are those who put of trouble, frustration and tiredness from going door to door asking for handouts, end up selling to those doors. I was tired of lacking and going to school without pocket money. I was tired of eating bread and Achar or pap and Achar at school. Other kids could buy meat and juice here and there, and I wanted to be in the "class". So I became an entrepreneur. Which turned out really well. When other kids had R2, and R5 for pocket money, I had R10, sometimes R20 taken from my daily profits to squander like the prodigal son as I wished. 

It's either I had to be an entrepreneur or a beggar. So I chose the first one. My mom helped me with the first stock of lollipops, smoothies and candies. Those were easy to sell as they would exchange hands with money under the table in the class room while the teacher was busy, especially during those subjects that I did not like such as Geography and Agricaultural sciences. 

Business expansion

Realizing that those small items don't make much profit, I added peanuts and boiled eggs to my stock. So I had to take with me a big box of mixed items to school every day. The school is about 2.5 KM from home, and I had to walk with my hand made school bag and the "mobile spaza shop". I sold  +/-30 eggs a day, few packs of peanuts and one pack of each of the three types of sweets I carried to school. I think that time I could make a profit of R30 sometimes R40 a day. Then after school I had to pass via the Indian Shop to stock up on sweets. Mama bought the eggs for me from her local suppliers and prepared them for me every morning. 

Begging stopped at once before it got me a name I did not want to asssiciate with. I became the supplier of the most needed items by both students and teachers. Kids needed sweets, teachers loved the boiled eggs and dry pan fried peanuts (mama's traditional recipe). It worked like a charm. 

Trouble with the principal

Every business environment has its legal frameworks that decide who sells what, to whom, when and how. I was in a high school environment and had to register as a vendor. I did not. I refused to pay the school my hard earned  money to sell small items. It was not a smart move though, because it threatened business shut down at the time when business was enjoying good success, if you know what I mean. But the principal let me go unpunished with one instruction: don't sell during and in the classes. Well, I'm sure you want to know if I stopped or not, I did not. I pressed on.

As the business grew, it meant egg shells had to increase in the school yard and in the class room floor. My school did not have a class that taught morals, values, cleanliness, respect, and all the good values a child should have learned at home. So all the kids that bought sweets and eggs threw the left overs, papers and egg shells on the floor where ever they opened and ate them. Sometimes a teacher would be walking around the class and would be disgusted by scattered sweet wraps and egg shells on the floor making irritating, dumping site sounds under his feet.  I didn't care. I made money.

When they called me for questioning about the impact of my business on the schools environment, I rebelled. I told them it was not my responsibility to tell people where to throw

"Rubish" after eating. The learners made a mess because of what I sold. I was part to blame because I sold during lessons. In my small little kiddy mind, I was not to blame in anyway. I guess that arrogance helped me, even though it could have gotten me into trouble, it halped my business survive. I had to make it work or I was going to be a better. 

Conclusion for now

To cut the story short: I made money to enough to  give my younger brother and I pocket money. And I could once in a while buy a loaf of bread at home, I  could afford to pay for church conference registrations at church by myself. Once I bought myself shoes and it felt good

VALUES: PRICELESS LESSONS FROM MY FATHER

My dad was a great man. I did not know that when he was still alive. So I never got to say "thank you" to him. I'm writing this article so that you don't do the same. And that you don't miss priceless momments with your children.

Daddy, the education fanatic

I've observed that my father made sure he spent time with me and my little brother before he passed on. He made observations of the things that we both loved and encouraged us on them. I loved reading. He being uneducated, made efforts to participate in my school's homeworks by sitting with me while I do them even though at that time I didn't understand why would he want to watch me do the homework if he does not offer to help out! Now I know that is the best he knew how; to be present. He would comment on how the teachers have placed the right ticks and wrong marks on the excercise and test books, the bigger the ticks looked, the bigger the complement I got, the bigger the "wrong mark" looked, the harsher the comments from him.

Daddy, the Fisher man 

I still think of those precious moments and they make me smile. One incident that I recall really well was when he came back from fishing the other weekend. Well. The sad thing is he never took me with, so I never learned how to catch a fish using a hook. But when he came back he would give me and my younger brother the big fish to clean up and prepare it for mama to cook it for dinner. He would talk about how he struggled to get the big fish out of the water, sometimes he had to fall into the dam while trying to pull it and swim in the dangerous  waters. At times he had to let go in order to remain safe. Sometimes he could not catch the big fish. He often came  home with funny  small,  difficult to cook, difficult to each fish. But he never came home empty handed. It's either he would bring fish or wild meat. Writing this makes me miss his presence and bad river water smell.

Each fishing trip came with its own fun stories and we loved listening to him. I had good times with my father. I did not always look forward to him being around becaue it meant strickthat behaviour, talk in certain way, bath in the cold nights even when mama would let go, he did not. We had to be home at certain time. If not, we had to give good explanations which he was not really interesting in listening to because we would have disobeyed him anyway. Many other kids my age did not have what I had. They had money, good toys, great clothes,  bicycles and many other good kiddy staff. I had the present father. Their fathers were far in the big cities trying to earn a living for them, and never wory about their relationship. At the end, the families and children of these career focused men and women became casualties of their personal father's personal success.

Daddy, the backhouse farmer

One other thing I really cherish was when  he thought me to grow onions, tomatoes, potatoes, spinach, sugar cane and mango trees. I must say I hated every momment of working in his garden. Everyday when I came back from school I had to work in the mad; either watering the garden or removing weed. Whe  other kids went to play soccer in the streets in was subjected to home farming.

Even though I hated this farming, I loved watching the tomato trees grow. I even loved the onion and tomato stew he made. I still can't make like he did. It was still on special, creamy and delicious. Man, I wish I could duplicate it for my wife now, unfortunately he left with the recepy undocumented.

When I look back, I realise that sometimes being childish can make you miss valuable opportunities. I have the skills to grow my own vegetables that I got from him. But I did not have the patience to work in his farm. I remember after planting the potatoes, I would literally dig the roots more than once per week to see how far than he potatoes have grown. I know now than he hath it was bad farming practice. You need to learn to watch things grow wothouthe tempering with their environment. I believe he wanted me to learn patience. He also wanted me to learn to survive in my own and provide for my family. For that, I am truly greatefull.

Gift of the presence 

In 1996,  my mom came back from "joburg" to collect me from my grandmother's house where I stayed before daddy could afford to stay with us full time.  I recall her saying "your father wants you to come stay with him in Gauteng. He says he wants all his children around him." For me the excitement was not staying with my father, but it was the thought of being in the big city. I did not know that we're going to stay in the informal settlements of Tembisa. I was excited that I would be able to tell other kids about my "city life". To know what happened go me there, get my book RELENTLESS YOUTH-reaching beyond the limit. It's an experience in would not trade for anything.

Looking back 14 years after he passed on, I realised that the best gift a father could give to his son was not just formal education, money, houses but values of fatherhood transferred through being present. Values can live longer, be transferred from one generation to another. They can be usecured to help one generate all the other tangible gifts that a father could have given. My father gave me that. He was not an angel, but he gave more than money could buy.

Now I know that no matter how educated I can be, no matter how educated I may want my children to be, the best thing I can do for them is to be with them when they need me and when they don't know that they need me. It is called the gift of the presence. It cannot be replaced by money, education, gifts, cars, or anything else for that matter. We may not know the impact of the gift of the presense in our children, but trust me, it goes a long way deeper than anything the world can offer.

Today people live busy lives. They have appointed nannies and teachers to raise their children. Parents miss precious early childhood develoment moments that cannot be repeated and felt through a movie. Precious times such as when a child learns to walk the first time. When he learns his first word, his first day at school, his/her first crush, all those silly little things count for more than a million doller deal.

It is ok to get big contracts, but what did you give your child? It is ok to work, we all have to do that. But you need to ask yourself,  whose values are the children adopting as they grow, yours or that of society and school teachers?

We have put education so far ahead of everything that we send our children to boarding schools to be raised, corrected and moulded by educators and caretakers whose values we do not know and may not fit that which we wish for our children. We then guts to cry when the children value what they learned in the streets and call it "current society that corrupted my children." Let me submit the truth to you it is, you corrupted your children by handing them over to strangers. Charity begins at home. I thank my father for teaching me a thing or two. What will your children say about you when they grow up to have children of their own?

MISSED OPPORTUNITY

More often in our lives, there is a difference or conflict between what we feel and what we desire to feel. The conflict can either motivate you to work hard towards what you desire to feel or to act in a way that will completely deny you the luxary of feeling what you desire. This conflict usually happens without you actively allowing it to happen, but it does anyway, one way or the other. In some cases, this desire could be the need for honor, for promotion, for a bonus,  for love and affection and many other things. This desire can be a source of courage or evil plots.

Missed opportunity 

When Cathy, provisional clerk and personal assistant at a small accounting firm in Polokwane started feeling like her boss doesn't pay attention to her most of the time, she started acting strange. She felt like her boss never listens to her suggestions, disregards her presence and sometimes does not even notice that she is in the office.

On day, Joey, her boss, was late for a meeting and she asked Cathy to preper the meeting documents quickly. Cathy felt this was her opportunity to make her presense felt and to get the attention that she has been yearning for. She quickly prepared the document and put them in perfect order as instructed. Then loaded them in white, company branded box. When Joey was about to leave, she asked Cathy to Cary the box and accompany her to the meeting. It was the first time that Cathy had to attend one of Joey's what you call "top class" meetings. 

Cathy carried a white box, with eight files in it. On arrival at the meeting, Cathy was instructed to lay out the documents on the table on each of the available seats. Her heart started racing, blood pressure increased and her sweat glands worked overtime. Within seconds, she asked to rush to the ladies room to dry the river that was suddenly over flooding from her armpits and bladder overload. 

Upon, her return, Joey said to her clients, "I have asked Cathy to prepare this documents, so I will ask her to present them to you." She turned towards Cathy with a lovely, confident smile and said "Cathy, this is your moment, humor me".

Within an instant, all secretory glands in her mouth stoped working. Her mouth went completely dry, eyes turned red and there was an uncontrollable fellowship between her knees. The fingers gave up holding the glass of water that was in her hands. The glass missed her dress and rolled on the table... anxiety and regret started flooding her emotions. SHE HAD INTANTIONALLY SWAPED FILES to get back spitefuly at her boss. The files that she carried are not the ones that should be in this meeting. She did not know that she will be the one presenting the documents.

Sowing seeds of goodness

We often play games that we think will get us what we want. We play with people's emotions with the hope to get their attention so that they can give us the feeling that we long for in return. 

When our hearts long for love, instead of withholding love, give love. Have you ever heard the saying: "if you want something so bad, give it away and you will get it in abundance?". If you need help, offer a helping hand. The universe is designed in such a way that people get what they give more often and they get it in abundance.

Spilled milk

Cathy lemented that day.

The meeting was cancelled. Joey lost the business deal because the client felt she did not take them seriously. Cathy lost her job. Even though Joey is still going strong with her business, Cathy, on her quest for attention from what she assumed was her "devil" boss, subotaged herself and lost her opportunity to make a name for herself and lost her job. Joey lost a business deal, but to avoid this happening again, she also eliminated the one person whom she thought was responsible for her failure. She now have a new assistant who pays attention to details and helps her prepare and make presentations of business proposals to other clients. Cathy is home feeling more rejected and lost.

What was supposed to have been a stepping ladder for Cathy, became her worst down fall route. Be careful not to make the same mistake.

Your values, your distinction

Values makes one to stand out in a competitive world by giving him/her a distinguished factor. For example, one could adopt this oath as a distinguishing factor:

" I will not say what I will not do. I will not promise what I will not deliver". 

Quite often people say things that they themselves have never done and cannot do. We tend to make ourselves appear well organized while yet, we know that things are so chaiptic in our private lives. Have you ever felt like that and wondered how you can get out of that life? Email me at farazcreationz25@gmail.com for a free online coaching on Values.

Talent and Values

Your talent can get you to the top, but it is your character/ values that will keep you there.  Talent can build you a house, but your character gives permanent residence as it will teach you how to take care of the house and make it a home.

The difference between Elexandra and Sandton City is not just money that people have: but the materials that people use to build their houses and roads. In Alexandra and other small towns and informal sattlements, they may use a lot of zinc , unprocessed wood and plastic. In Sandton they used stone, cement, concrete and bricks. The material they used to build their houses determine the value of what they build and how long it last.  Hence moral values l, which we adopt and use to build our lives determine how we relate with others and how other people relate with us. Our values help us gain value on a personal level which can be used as leverage in the public space.

Character and ethics is the maintenance package. Business does not fail because of lack of plans, but lack of values to build business culture and moral practice. That means they make plans but fail to follow up on them. Or they even fail to monitor them. Your values are a check up point and service area for your behavior, thoughts, language and actions. When they are kept in check, you are safe and the opposite is true.

Values make you refine what you do. If one of your values is Quality: it means there is standard against which your products are tested. You only release to the public what is worth the money and other forms of investment. If it does not meet a certain good standard, it is not worth offering.

These values are like a rock: a man with values is like a house built upon a rock. A man without values is like a House built on sand. It can easily be eroded with slight storms and flood.

To be continued.

Inequality of basic education in South Africa

Recently I have been looking into the state of African Education systems, particularly for South Africa. I was trying to look at the way children are taugh and how it factors in to their long term survival in the jungle named life. Soon the primary school children will be expected to provide for themselves and for those behind them, what we call 'black tax'. But little emphasis is put on the manner in which these children will contribute to society and the economy.  I think the way the education system is designed does not talk to the needs of the country in more ways than one. Or maybe because there is a large group of children who are not taught to know, to think or to question what they are taught in relation to real life, they taught to memorize without understanding and grow up to be working machines.

There must be something really wrong with the basic education system in South Africa. The disparities I see are heart breaking. A grade 3 learner in a rural school gets no homework for more than one week without any wory. If they do get one, the homework will be to collect mud and make a cow or something that require very little to no thinking at all. On the other hand, grade 3 learners in a semi-urban or urban public and private schools get her mom and dad sweating trying to do a manual "water purification project" using sand and 2 litter bottle. A small project like this gets the child up in his/ her feet trying to get this project up and done. The fascinations that the child is exposed to make the little one excited about going to school to present the project to the rest of the class the following day. 

Are the teachers in rural schools not exposed to this kind of invention of training or is there something else that makes us see the difference as it is.

I can't bear this. Or am I missing something?

In urban schools, kids have what they call "school concerts" which help children identify and celebrate their artisitic giftings before a huge audience of learners, teachers and parents. These kids look forward to this event for weeks and prepare eagerly. These concerts does not only expose the kids to their talents, but it helps teachers and parents discover the child's strengths early and help the child grow and excel in it. They also teach the child to blend with other children and adults in an organized manner than in the play grounds. They learn to stand before audience of strangers and speak, play or act out their talents. These kids become better kids and sometimes, turn out great. My village school kids are surprised to see other little children on television and magazines advertising clothes or acting. These little superstars are not fallen angels, they are ordinary kids with teachers and parents who know the need for early childhood development and have taken the initiative to be part of it. I wonder when will something like this visit our rural schools in Madombija, Njelele, Majosi, Motetema, Moroke, Mdavula and other villages where superstars and scientists lie and play in the streets unidentified.

I went to a public school where the SGB had questionable understanding of their role in leadership or education. I still am amazed at the level of distance between these Schools  Governing  Bodies  and Schools Leadership and academic programs. I don't want to talk about parents who may never even know what subjects the child is exposed to. One child fails at school and parents make a joke on it as if nothing happened. They make jokes with their friends about how the child is "dumb", "not cut out for education", how he is "lousy at soccer" and so many other negative aspects.  I submit to you today if you are reading this and you are a parent: You must resolve to be involved in the education of your child. Ask questions if your child has no homework or performed poorly. Help your child set targets and help him or her to achieve them.

And to you Ministers and MECs of Education, principals and teachers: I appreciate the work you have done in getting me educated. Thank you for that. But you cannot teach my children the same way you taught me in the class room. Your systems must improve with time to meet the needs of today and solve the present challenges with the view of anticipated ones. So far, you have been weighed and found wanting.

WHY AFRICANS ARE POOR

Africa needs to find solutions to the staggering levels of poverty, unemployment and corruption. The continent needs to engage in a real, open and honest debate that will address the source, impact, proposed solutions and implementation of solutions with clear intentions to emancipate her citizens; solutions that will not benefit the minority in power but also the poorest of the poorest as equally as the rich and wealthy.

I do not propose to have solutions, but I have made an observation as to where some of the problems can be coming from and what may be done. But I also want to challenge a debate around some of the things I share in this blog.

Over the past few years, countries have witnessed civil societies taking to the streets and to government houses their expressions of dissatisfaction over poor service delivery, student riots over free education in South Africa coupled with massive destruction of state and private property, political power struggles in South Africa, politicians arrested, taken to courts, corruption scandals exposed and many other things that I do not really want to bore you with. All these things have in one way or another portrayed a symptom of sickness or cancer that if not properly diagnosed and treated may lead many people and countries in distress. The people who have been put in charge are sometimes not taking charge. They are focused on building a portfolio that will make sure that they are financially taken care of later when they are no longer in power. The greed and selfishness and lack of proper visions and plans of leaders, the lack of compassion of fathers, the rebellion of children, and the absence of great educational systems keep on eating away the pride and cream of the African wealth.

South Africa, for example have more than ten million people living on social grand and over 25% on unemployment. The average household income goes as low as R500 per household, there is excessive labour exploitation with men and women working for a basic wage that does not fit human labour as well as poor living conditions. The poor remains far at the bottom pit of the food chain and keeps on going down deeper and deeper. As for whether there is hope for them, prophets will have to be called to speak on behalf of God before the nations. At the same time, Politicians must be called to task. They must account on what they have done with the power and trust given to them by the millions of people that they assume to be leading while continuously “allegedly enriching” themselves using the tax payers money.

On the other end, the burden of disease keeps rising. The World Health Organisation predicts very dark pictures on international outlook of health. People are becoming unhealthier through excessive consumption of sugars, salt and fats and completely unhealthy lifestyles in the face and rise of technology based lifestyles. We will wake up to a sick versus healthy nation of ration of 1:1 one day and there will be no solution or remedy to reverse the dire situation and dying nations. But still, we will look back and point a big finger of blame towards ourselves because all these things have been caused by men. Men have become his own enemy. Our wisdom has become so one sided that we fail to see that our deeds are slowly preying on our own health.

When men are slowly eating and drinking their lives away, others are becoming slaves for money and espouse themselves to seeking more money. Their desire for money induced by the desire to compete and fit into a society that uses material possession as a licence for social integration leads them to rejecting the very core and fibre that builds healthy, effective and productive societies: family. The family unit is somewhat neglected. Children are raising children. Men and women spend more time at work and on the road that they hardly have meaningful conversations about their lives, their health, their spiritual nurturing or the upbringing of their children.

Then I ask ; why are Africans poor? Could it be political leadership failure? Could it be broken families? Could it be broken and poor work ethic? What about the education system?  I believe that all this is costing Africa and robing her of her very best the land has to offer. When I look at Africa I see a wealthy land. On the contrary, when I look at Africans I see more poverty yet food is lying underneath their floors.  

African Political Leadership_A source of Africa's downfall

For many years, the Africans have been liberated from many forms of colonisation. The mastermind dominance to Africa, even though physically defeated, it still remains a thorn in the flesh of those born before, during and after slavery. I am yet to understand fully, as to how the African Mind, even after many decades of the declaration of freedom, many countries still suffer the effect of slavery. The impact of Colonisation has far extended beyond ordinary.  It has created a cancer of the mind such that those suffering from it do not know they have a tumor and are also imprisoned. Where will emansipation come from and in what form?

Africa remains poor, and other countries continues to join the ranks of poverty, economic dowlfall, land missuse and illhealth. I may not be an expert, but it is clear that something is not right and has not been so for a long time.  In his words,  speaker and author, Systenious Makhubele says "Africans are free, but not empowered" to access the kind of resources that they want. You are fee to travel anywhere and to buy whatever you desire, but you are not empowerd to afford those things.  There is an illusion that i believe many of us need to shake off, that since we are free, things will automatically become ours. In an ideal world, that is treu. In a practical world, the activities that need to happen to make Africans own their wealth has not yet happened fully, and that is one problem.

Another problem is with the kind of leadership that seems to have infected Africa, or some of the African States. I have observed with dismay that people are appointed on leadership roles because they are known by the people and loved. Others are put on leadeship because they can "play along" when needed to. Others are put on these seats because there is a hidden agenda that must be fullfilled with blind leadership, therefore one is put as a face; a sheep leading an army of wolves. But other are appointed righfully, because they can deliver. They can do the job. This leadership crisis contributes to Africa's contnued crisis.  Lucky Lubisi, says "Liberation movements can never run a successful government. We need to choose leaders by merit and leadership qualities. It's the only way that we all can access the wealth our continent has to offer". Tumisa Matitoane, an inspirational speaker and entrepreneur says "it only takes a winning mindset to be able to own wealth and be able to think how to make what men have on thier land to work for them. We need winners and lenders not borrowers and beggers thats kind of our leaders in Africa.

I will make followup articles on this matter, but feel free to share it, or comment. Participate in the #whyafricansarepoor and let us posses the African Wealth.

Pursuit of a dream: It's a personal agenda

Application of self descipline

Over the next few days, you will go through a series of changes that will challenge you, impact your life and your dreams, ideas and talents may later be transmuted into their financial equivalent. The translation of one’s ideas into products that can be sold for money can only be achieved through the consistent and relentless application of proven principles that have been applied through life or reinvented, perfected and retried. These principles do not respect persons, status, qualification, background or any attribute of man. They only respect he who applies them and rewards him or her with great personal confidence and wealth.

Talent is not enough

No matter how gifted you are, without the application of self-discipline that talent may raise to the top but it is highly unlikely to be sustained at the top. Talent can never be enough to sustain one’s life. It is however sufficient to lead you up into a path that you desire, but it is not enough to keep you at the top. There are many talented people that we can site for elastration’s sake, those people have risen to the top, but could not stay there because of lack of personal vision, direction, mentorship and discipline.

Your potential is the seed that is still to be unearthed, if left unattended to; it will remain yet another lost ability to impact society. I believe that with the development of a culture of learning, personal introspection, aggressive self-application, personal identification and purposeful living, one is able to translate ideas into money, principles into habits, habits into character or even transforming society, one man at a time. Your ability to achieve great success with your life is equal to your “ability” to fail and still continue trying. It does not require a second brain set to achieve success more than it does for failing life.

Success is not an accident

Over the past few years, I have determined to read as many books as possible in order to understand the nature of success. In learning learned the truth about this famous statement by John C Maxell that everything rises and falls on leadership. Simply put, your leadership capacity determines your success or failure level. Thus for you to measure what you call “success” in your own right, you also need to define your ability to lead yourself.

The world’s famous, wealthy and powerful people have declared independence from the demands of popularity and people’s opinions. Dr John Tibane, author and Leadership coach said “whatever defines you, confines you. Whatever does not build you, constrain you”. You become successful only if you walk in the best path that is meant for you. Successful people become successful by leading themselves to the path that which they desire and eager to attain.  I cannot imagine how painful it would feel to have climbed the ladder of success all the way to the top, only to find that it was leaning on the wrong platform. You have achieved everything in life, but you did not become the best you can be. You become the best second best there can ever be.

Unfortunately, this is true for the majority of our brothers and sisters in Africa.  They try by all means to be the next person or to copy somebody else’s dream. They conform to what people say about them and miss out on the opportunity of being who they are meant to be. I will illustrate to you how as to what I mean by this.

In Pursuit of a personal goal

Mercy, a young talented and known hair dresser from Mamayila became famous for her inventions and hair talent. When she was nine years old, she used to design her doll’s clothes and do her hair. She later gained fame in the community when she moved to Hluvuka High School when she turned 14. Many of her class mates and other scholars ran to her for hair styles during events. Most of it she did it for free or in exchange for lunch. Later, Mercy turned this passion into a business.

Her mother always wanted her to be a nurse. Her father wanted her to be anything her mind points her to do. On the other hand, her teachers told her that she can be anything she wants to be, but one thing she cannot be is be a hair stylist. It was considered a poor person’s Job and low class dream.

It must never occur to you to allow yourself to measure your dream or desired based on somebody else’s barometer. It can never be accurate.

The only thing Mercy could dream of was hair styles, make up and jewellery. Just after completing her Grade 12 in 2002, she decided to take a gap year without her parent’s knowing. That gap year turned into a business adventure. The concept of gap year was not famous then, but she did it against her parents’ wishes. Her parents had registered her with the then Medical University of South Africa (Medunsa) to study nursing, but she never attended a single lecture. Instead she took her talent to the streets and pursued her passion. Her parents sent her money to pay school fees, rent and buy food. She used the money to rent out a small office in Acadia, Pretoria which she turned into a small hair and beauty studio.

 By October that same year, her parents wanted to visit her, but she told them that she was going to North West to do her in service training for four months and will only return in February. Excited, her parents increased her even more pocket money for the four months, thinking that Mercy will need the money. She took that little investment and enrolled herself to be trained as a makeup artist.

That month, she met few celebrities who came to her Salon. Soon she made it to the local newspapers in Pretoria as a rising star. She soon attracted famous faces to her salon. By the end of her first year in business, which was supposed to be the end of her first year in Nursing School, she had hired four people into the salon and payed them very well. Her business turned from humble beginnings into a great success within one year. Today, she has four other shops, including a full loaded hair and cosmetics wholesale shop with over 36 employees.

The following year, Mercy went home to break the news to her parents. Her mother was very furious, but her father was proud. That night she determined to educate her younger siblings of her disobedient journey to success. “It was not an easy thing,” she started, “but I had to do it for me. I knew that my parents will not be happy because I lied to them for the whole year. I made excuses all year and never gave them a chance to know what I was doing.” She said.

Her mother was listening from the other room but she chose not to interrupt this confession. “My mother believed so much in my academic acumen. But I believed much in my dreams and talent than in my school performance. I worked hard at school, but I worked harder to build my talent and dream.” She paused and took a deep breath. “I wish I could explain this to mama, but I’m not sure...” He brother, Mikhenso interrupted her; “you don’t have to sis. You followed your dream. We understand and are proud of you.”

***

I am not in the business of breeding rebellious young people, but I am challenging you to pursue your talent and gifting with all your strength. Like Mercy, she understood that she can be anything she wants to be, but for her to do so, she had to separate herself from other people’s wishes, no matter how she loved them.

You cannot be trapped in other people’s opinion and wishes about you. By the time you wake up to your own desires, they may have rusted inside of you. John Maxwell, Author and global leadership coach and speaker writes “talent is not like a savings account: a saving account compounds in interest annually. You can deposit money just once, and then leave it for years. The longer you leave it untouched, the more you will get out of it. The longer you leave it, the more it increases. But your talent is not like that. The longer you leave it, the more it decreases”. Dr Mike Murdok says, “Talent that is not recognised is not celebrated. And talent that is not celebrated cannot be rewarded.”

Start valuing your dream, your desires, your talent and abilities. That gift can make room for you. It will open doors for you in areas you never imagined.

BUY THE FUTURE (PART 2). BEWERE OF FIRE FIGHTERS

I believe when it comes to success, there are three kinds of people:

1. Those who think and dream about success.

 They are like window shoppers. They always go out to see what’s in the market, they know all the latest trends, all the ups and downs, but they are not part of it. They know who is in business, and who is out, but they never get in. These are people that give others a great business ideas. They talk imagine and talk about all the great strides they wish to make but remain inactive. The sad thing is they imagine themselves rich but never get to it. They are like a man who brings in game from his hunting expedition but fails to roast it for good meat. I once heard  one say you cannot till the ground by tuning it over and over in your mind. 

If you fall in this category, you are one who tend to think rich and successful thoughts but are afraid to make mistakes. By the time your life comes to an end, you will b regretting how you allowed birds to hatch in your head, but never got to eat their meat.  Norman Cousin, a writer and editor wrote this powerful statement: “death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies in us while we still live.”

2. Those who talk about success.

 I believe that we were created with two great abilities  that can be developed for better use: the ability to think our own thoughts and the ability to speak and say what we want. Sadly, some people talk and never do what they say. Others wait for things to happen so they can talk or write about it. They have no thoughts or activities of their own, they need you and me to develop things so that they can talk about it or write articles about it.

They are like columnist shoppers. They know all the trends, they talk about it. They can even write about in and advice others about things they have never known nor experienced. They can talk about someone’s business as if they are in it first hand. But they never dare do. They know how to talk about things, but they do not know how to copy good tricks. 

On the contrary, some may be filled with more negative talk than the group I described above. When you share ideas with these kind, they will give you all the reasons why it cannot be done. Be careful of this type. They can kill a good product before it is even born. They are what is described as firefighters.

Firefighters are those people who go all the way to stop the passion or the fire in other people. They prevent you from releasing what’s inside you before it comes out. They kill dreams. When ever you come up with a good ideas or plan to do something, be it personal, at home, at work, in sports and any other area, they will pull out all fire fighting equipment’s they have in their minds. 

You will notice them with the following common sayings every time something new comes up:

• Its not in the budget 

• That’s not practical

• We tried that before and it didn’t work

• We have never done that before

• Yeah, Yeah... but...

• That’s not the way we do things here

• It will never work

• No one will believe that

• You are getting too big for your shoes

• Who do you think you are

• No one will fund that

• Its not good enough

• You are not qualified for that

• You are black, it will never work.

3. Those who do succeed indeed.

They don’t talk much. They do much. I learn this from my wife. When she sets her mind on a thing, she goes for it and gets it. She is so disciplined and focused.  It is an a quality i noticed in almost every successful person i've studied. I is also sited by many authours on the subject of selfhelp, business, family, sports, music, art and reliegion.

You have be so determined that you can’t be easily deterred her off target.  You have to “focus on the end result”. Rudy Ruittiger said “if you really believe in your dream, you will get there.” You have to deal with the doubts that are created in and around you to break the cycle of negative influence. Franklin Roosevelt said this profound words that fit here well: “the only limitation to our realisation of tomorrow will be our doubts of today”. 

I believe that most of the changes, successes and breakthroughs that we need in our lives and business do not necessarily require money or physical strength but psychological strength: believe in yourself. That is an attribute of successful people. They believe their beliefs and doubt their doubts.

NEGOTIATING FOR A BETER LIFE_ BUY BACK AFRICAN WEALTH

Five years from now, or even tomorrow. You will meet with someone you met today or some years back with whom you may have exchanged ideas about how your futures will be like in terms of your “prospective marriages”, business ambitions, etc. and may have also discussed your ideas and goals. They looked really good at the time. Sometimes you were described a positive thinker who is on the road to success.

As you compare your “talk, then” with your experiences “today”,  one of the following two things will happen: you will be excited to share your accomplishments, or embarrassed to discuss them with that person.  This will because you either would have Improved significantly or completely underdeveloped yourself. Maluleke Hlulani Int’l, a known speaker and business coach loves to say “love does not get better by chance, it gets better by choice.” I truly believe he is right. It has to be made clear that your life is not anybody’s lottery project that may or may not work well. It’s not a gambling tournament, it’s a personal journey whose road is constructed by choices. Whether you arrive at your destination of purpose or not, is your choice.

REASONS FOR EITHER ONE OF THE OUTCOMES ARE

• The values you have developed and adopted. Your values shape your thinking and actions. People without personal values are tossed to and fro by every wind of doctrine. They are swayed by every blow. 
• The way you trained yourself to see life and respond to it. I head of this statement, “it is not the weight of the object that’s too heavy, its your muscle that’s weak to carry”. Your ability to respond to challenges is based on how you have developed yourself.  

Growing up in the villages made me realise this is true. Ordinary people celebrate when it rains for a moment after a long sunny day. But then,  they complain about the same rain they welcomed with joy few hours later. At the same time, a farmer will celebrate even more if it rains a bit longer because it will water the orchards and fill the dam such that it becomes easy for him to continue with the plantation. Their response to the rain is not due to the rain it self, it is attributed to the meaning of rain to either one of them. A farmer is trained to appreciate the importance of rain because it brings in production. An ordinary person complains of rain because it keeps him indoors unnecessarily. 

The quality of the choices you make daily. The kind of results you are seeing in your life are an elastration of the kind of choices you make. People with a well established value system have a clear understanding of the impact of their choices in their lives. When I see what people are getting out of their lives, I can tell of their value system.

IMPACT OF CHOICES

You are where you are today because of the choices you made yesterday. And you will be where you will be tomorrow because of the choices you are making today. I have often heard people say “I have worked hard for so many years...now I am reaping the rewards.” Your actions decides your results. It is however, possible that you may be doing much and getting less. In that case you need to check other factors such as the environment where you are working. But in any case, you reap what you have planted. 

I believe that your choice have some form of effect in your life that are decided by natural laws. Take for example, the such as “for every action, there is a reaction” as stated by Sir Isaac Newton; no matter how we can argue that law, you will still find it affecting your life, one way or another. Our choices determine:

• Whether we live in the comfort of what we have today, hoping it will stay that way, or we create better opportunities for ourselves.

• Whether we live from hand to mouth, or plant a garden that will sustain us beyond working years.

• Whether our choices fulfil short term needs or long term purposes.

• Whether we allow the desperations of today to make us ignore the consequences that our current decisions and actions have on our future.

Our actions are usually based on two value systems. These systems have a bearing on what you see in many African people. If we can be able to overcome these somewhat distorted mentalities, we may be able to overcome poverty in Africa.

1. The hunter’ Value System (can be called the African or the consumer’s value system). This system is based on the strong desire to satisfy the immediate need and less about the future or long term consequences of today’s actions. It is also seen with a compulsive material consumption and inability to preserve wealth.

2. The farmers value system. This system focuses on the choices and actions employed today in relation to the results or bearing they have on the future. These are described well by the ever so wise King Solomon when he said “cast your bread upon the waters, for you shall find it after many days”. He teaches people to sow in the morning, at noon and at night and never observe the wind. Unfortunately, only a few minorities have grabbed this liberating truth and has set them free.

Both the systems have benefits, losses and consequences, but the first value system has more consequences than benefits.

The Hunter’s value system

This is the systems that tend to see small things as big and big things as small. Usually small problems are magnified to an extent of terrifying people from taking positive action. At the same time, the things are real problems that require focused, intelligent attention and solutions, they are often ignored or banked for future intervention which more than half the time, they are never looked at again until crises arises from such ignorance.

People in this system usually have one natural talent but are not able to industrialise it. They can be seated on a well of Gold, but never realise its potential. You see, this kind have the ability to catch  a good prey but fail to roast it ant eat. Proverbs 19: 24 says “a lazy man buries his hand in a bowl. And will not no so much as bring it to his mouth again.” And further says in chapter 13:23 that there is so much food in the land the poor. The question is why are they not eating it but starve to death in a fat land? 

I believe the following explains their behaviour:

• They focus on what is seen and needed now, to satisfy the needs of today. Anything hidden does not exist in their vocabulary. For something to exist, it must be visible or have been seen before in their natural eye.

• They focus on enticing activities that may not have any pain involved (most of the time). These don’t like to pay the price, and enjoy later. They want to eat and then, pay. Sometimes they do not afford the price and end up losing life or pay it with their dignity. They do not see that life tends offer opportunities wrapped in hard work and temporal pain.

• They think of working when they want to eat, or to get something to satisfy the need of today.

• They tend to think on their stomach. They make decisions that are motivated by a hunger. Hence they can start rich and end in poverty because of the consumption mentality. 

• They work like worms, mostly eat their food and leave nothing, or a stink. Worms are very important part of the ecosystem. They help in making sure that the natural grazing land gets fertilizers from decayed natural products. The problem is, after eating and turning carcases into secondary products, they die. Their life cycle is be born and then eat your way to death.

• Hunter’s usually do not see the diversity of their wealth.

- Like African’s: they can be surrounded by so much wealth and opportunities and not see them. They can import the food that they have because they can’t process it. I mean, Africa produce so much from the wealth of natural resources such as Gold, Diamond, Oil, Platinum and many other products, but we still have to send these products to be processed else where.

- I believe that’s why many foreign nationals flock into South Africa to South Africa. Thy can come to your village, or city and start a legitimate business next to your house, or even rent your garage to take the wealth that you did not see.

- South Africans see Poverty... Foreigners see wealth. 

• They have long term exposure to negatives that end up becoming realities. 

• They are skilful in Identifying their prey: but they are somewhat underdeveloped in catching the pray.  If they do catch it, they struggle to process it.  

- They can identify one prey, but spend the whole day trying to catch it, and fail. The good thing about them is that they can study the animal so well: how it sleeps, how it moves, its weaknesses, etc. But the same animal that they have studied so well, still plays mind tricks with them that leave hungry and frustrated.

- Mostly they have more abortions in their minds than they give birth to what they conceive. If ideas were tangible products that expires if not used, some people’s minds would be dirtier than a Municipal Waste Site

• They are single minded. They can only pursue one thing at a time. Hence   the phenomena of multiple streams of income sound like unnecessary. Instead, they would  rather work over time. They can’t have two investments at once but settle to work for a salary for life. Once they get into one thing, it’s difficult for them to pursue another goal.  Because of lack of diligence, they are put to hard labour for life. Systenious Makhubele, a speaker and author of Get Out of Your Way says; if hard work paid more, our parents would be very rich.

• They use more strength, time and resources to achieve one single item. Their activities cannot be equated to the results.

• They can’t breed their own food; they rely on what is available out there.

• They have to start afresh every day. They cant develop a system that sustains their provision without them. For them to eat, they have to go to the field by themselves. Similar to the tender business. You can wake up broke, sleep rich and be broke again the following day because your business can’t produce products that sell themselves and generate income when you are not watching. You are not rich until you make money in your sleep.

• They don’t know how to expand to new territories.

• They think that the only way to get rich is by putting extra hours without redesigning the system. 

• They have more but cannot determine the value of what they have. Hence the poorest nations are those endowed with more natural resources, they can’t decide on the price of what they have. They cannot even process it to secondary products. They eat what they have as it is.

• They have a plan for the next weekend or two, but have no idea how their lives should be in five years. Live in the moment

***

I WILL SHARE WITH YOUR THE FARMER'S VALUE SYSTEM ON MY ENXT ARTICLE.

however, let me conclude this articel by siting that successful people are those who had the courage to answer the questions that we were all asking and later turned around to sell their answers to us (not my own).

FAMILY: THE FIBRE OF SOCIETY

Family is the backdrop of society

I thought I’d write about the importance and role of family in society. A family unit is the longest standing and self-sustainable institution on Earth. From the beginning of mankind, to date: mankind still live in family units and still desire to. Even though there is an increased rate of Divorce globally, the family unit still plays a critical role in crafting the fibre of society.

For us to have a successful impact on society using the family strand, we must be grounded on the principles of God for the family as seen depicted throughout the Bible. By staying in the unit that God assigned for mankind, we find the source of strength, courage, divine direction and help as well as sustainable strategies for keeping the family intact. In America, 83% of adults were married in 1930, today, only 49% are married. There has to be a reason for that drop. And the same decline is linked with increased crime rate and violence.

Impact of families on children

Research shows that child headed families had children not going to school, involved in violent behaviours, theft and robbery. Girls sell their bodies (sex slaves) for food and money to support their younger siblings from a very young age. And boys fall into drugs and join gangs.

Little children emulate family units in the plays and games. That longing for healthy family is in every child, but it gets distorted by the existing family strand through divorce, domestic violence, absent fathers, etc.

Where the family unit is intact, such parents become effective role models to their children. Studies show that, where both parents are actively involved in their children, the following will happen to their children:

They are more likely (55%) to go enrol for higher education; 78% more likely to volunteer in community building or charity activities; 81% more likely to participate in sports; 200% more likely to hold a leadership position in small to large scale groups: sports, peers, school, business, etc.

Children with both parents also have a lesser chance to go through depressive state or being involved in drugs (46% less), alcohol (27% less), violence (33% less) and 55% less likely to skip classes or miss school.  These children tend to have good self-confidence and believe in themselves than children without both parents. Other alarming statistics were published on fatherless families.

Studies published in the Unites States shows these alarming results of absent fathers in the lives of children:

• 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes – 5 times the average.
• 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes – 32 times the average.
• 85% of all children who show behaviour disorders come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average.
• 80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes –14 times the average.
• 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average.
• 71% of pregnant teenagers lack a father or direct involvement of a father figureFamily is the backdrop of society

 Impact on society

• Politics will be based on sustainable family values, not selfish ambitions.
• Church will be built on sustainable family values. Mike Murdock says if you cannot conquer your family, you cannot conquer in the world.
• Business enterprises will be sustainable: because no one will steal from any one knowing that they will be affecting their own brother’s family. Successful business men attribute their success to the support from their wives. Happy families produce better citizens. The opposite is true as well.
• Schools will be intact. That would mean: the School Governing Bodies will comprise of  parents/ families with the same or similar values, the children will be groomed in the same neighbourhood love
• The rate of violence and crime against humanity will be less.
• Peace.

Imagine a situation where the families were united in prayer, values and priorities for child development, for community policing, education, it would be peaceful. I believe that if families were built on values embraced by children, or their wishes, there would be neither divorce nor violence in society.

THE DREAM FACTOR (part 2)

DREAMERS RULE THE WORLD

People who dream big dreams rule the world. The products of their dreams control the economy and influence global decisions, markets and many other things at a greater level. Another point to note is the fact that great dreams do not die, the dreamers do. Ancient history has proven to us that men who dreamt dreams that shook the word still affect the earth long after they are gone.

I also learned that dreams are attached to purpose and assignment to which one is born for. With the dream, comes loaded within it great potential to make manifest the same dream. The sad thing is many people dream but doubt their capacity to deliver. It becomes even sad to realize that people end up dying with their dream because of fear of engaging robustly with their dream. Thomas Edison once said, 5% of people think, 10 think that they think and the other 85% would rather die than think.  The latter also possess great wealth of ideas, but fail to give birth to these because of fear.  Napoleon Hill said that more gold has been mined from the mind of men than ever been mined from the earth. That mining was carried out by working out people’s dreams.

CHARACTARISTICS OF GREAT DREAMERS

People who tend to success more than ordinary people have certain admirable characteristics, those are:
1. Positive attitude. They think “I can all the time”. Henry Ford once said: whether you think you can or cannot, you are right.

2. Self-Discipline. A dream can lift you up, but discipline and character will sustain you.

3. They do not depend on the ideologies of the crowd.

4. They keep company of like-minded people and they value their contribution

5. They are relentless. On the contrary, most people walk away from things on the first sign of defeat. There are so many people who have had dreams that took too long to manifest. At times people may mock, scorn and ridicule you for having a dream. They do that because they expected the dream to be fulfilled in their watch or in their time. That may create negative pressure for the dreamer.

6. Self-confidence. Nothing beats a confident man. What others believe about you is not as important as what you believe about yourself.

7. They think ahead, creatively and BIG. F.S. Nukeri says: creative people hire lazy thinkers, make them do hard labor and pay them less. They have the goals written down and followed after,

8. They think things through before they quit.  They have a strong belief that the current circumstance or status is but for a limited time. What makes some people to fail in life is their lack of persistence in creating new plans that will replace those which fail (Napoleon Hill).

9. They constantly acquire new knowledge and sharpen their skills.  They tend often attend seminars and courses that develop them in the areas of their application or their dream. It is said that 77% of poor people watch more TV compared to 27% of wealthy people who watches TV for less than hour a day.

People will pay you based on what you know. But you will be paid even more for what you do with what you know. The more you learn, and apply what you learn in the practical situations, you become sought after so that you are given a platform to use the knowledge that you have. And as you use what you know; your income may grow, depending on how well you apply what you know.

10. They are not afraid to think differently.  Great discoveries were made by people who were not afraid to look at the same thing as others, but think differently about it.  Sir Isaac Newton once said no new discoveries were ever made without a bold guess.

So go ahead, keep your dream alive because success is intentional. It is not an accident or a random act.

THE DREAM FACTOR (part 1)

Imagine lying on your death bed in your last moments, and the ghost of your dreams and potential coming to you and say; we came to you because you had the ability to make us manifest, impact the world and create employment opportunities for thousand others, but you are dying with us. What would your response be? I think if potential could speak, many of would have been in court many times.

What if you live your whole life, only to realize that you never lived, you never scratched the surface of your potential. You need to decide to live in full and die empty.

I want to try and help you move from small to big, from failure to success. Whenever you see success in another person that means that person has mastered the craft of his destiny. He/she has learned and proactively answered the question: what is your WHAT? And what is your WHY? If you can be able to describe explicitly what is it you want in life, and why you want it, then anything that tries to stop you will not be able to limit you.
Let me show you how to do that in six simple steps:

1. Ask what is it you really want to achieve in your life. Write it clearly on a clean sheet, diary, and paste it where you can see it every day.  You must be definite with your objective.

2. When do you want to achieve it? Put a time frame to it. You must be specific.

3. Determine exactly what you are willing to give in return for your dream.

4. Decide on how and when you are going to start to build on it.

5. Find few people that you will call "accountability circle" or what Napolion Hill calls, the Master mind group. The trick here is to choose people who can be able to push you to your limit and support you when you fail.  By the time you decide who should be in the group; you should have developed a definite plan.

In the plan you should be able to describe your vision clearly. Thereafter describe the role of each members of the group in fulfilling that dream as well their individual benefit from it. As you do, remember that no one has sufficient ability, experience, education or knowledge to make accumulate any amount of wealth or achievement of any goal without the cooperation of other people.

6. Start NOW. Many dreams die in the womb because since they were conceived, they were never given birth to. Many people tend to think and think and never act. It is impossible to till a land by just turning it over and over in your mind. You have to act. You have to make the bold step to move towards your dream. Sometimes the road may seem cloudy and somewhat incomplete, but you still have to forge your way.
Look at yourself, and ask yourself: why do I want this thing that I want. Know that if you can master your why, you can endure almost any how. The world has a habit of making way for those who know where they are going.
For more: email: ngmafarafara@gmail.com

Power Tip no 2

power tip no 1

Mistaken Identity

Introduction

The world has a system of classifying people into certain groups based on multiple factors. They are classified or categorised based on their gender, skin colour, educational achievement, family history or contribution to society, physical ability, personal accolades, societal and social association or status and more. Others are just labelled based on a hunch of the community. Then others have personally deliberately mislabelled themselves based on their personal experiences of the past, family history, upbringing and so on. 

If you are an associate of a prominent business man, sports man, or politician, you find yourself receiving a certain status in the society that is not necessarily your own. People respect you based on association. The day you separate from such influential figures, your status also dissipates. Others, like Pastors kids, pastor’s wives and children born of the highly intelligent or prominent people receive high esteems in the society with “perfect” expectations of their performance. Their behaviours, performances and achievements are measured based on their parents or spouses accolades, and not of their own.

I can imagine the pressure that these people have to go through each day trying to match the status of their parents or spouses. The pressure sometimes makes them vulnerable to more mistakes in life than they normally would had they not been exposed to the competition with the status that is not theirs. How I wish they could share with us how this kind of life makes them feel.

Celebrities have to deal with the people who expect them to be super perfect beings; hence they turn to drugs and image reconstruction to meet the expectations of the public. They miss out on giving the public and their followers the genuine feel of who they really are. They rather ascribe themselves to what the world expects of them and it brings more frustration.

Looking into biblical history

History shows us that this is not new. Biblically there were circumstances like these before. During the times when Jesus physically walked on earth, His disciples were expected to act and perform miracles like He did. Later they were identified as those who “walked with Jesus”. At this level, this was a good thing.

There are however circumstances that are somewhat difficult. Like in the life of Moses, who after having rescued a Hebrew from the hands of an Egyptian, whom he killed on the spot was rejected by other Hebrews. As he walked around the Hebrew natives, he was described as a man who kills his own that he had to run into refugee camp far in the desert for 40 years. Can you imagine, 40 years away from your people because one incident that people have used as a permanent marker of who you are. 

It is very difficult to be identified with the past all the time or with the character that is much more capable than you are and yet you are not. It makes one feel unwelcomed and maybe inferior.

21st Century dilemma

Having said all the above, which we may say it’s rather an ambiguous illustration of reality and truth. The 21st century generation is living in times where in people have mistakenly taken the identity of other highly acclaimed personalities such as sports celebrities, musicians, actors and so on. While they themselves may be living in the world of realities, (well some of them of course) those who follow and admire them have bought into their images such that they want to buy into the images that others have naturally inherited with money. The pain ascribed to the notion of facial changing, skin bleaching and so on is robbing youth of their true lives which could have been lived in full.

It is not a problem to admire someone, but it is rather totally wrong to admire a person such that you want to lose yourself and try and be them. I heard someone say “if you imitate someone, the best thing you can ever come close to being, is to be his/her second best”. But if you pursue being yourself, building your brand, you have more to gain than becoming second best.  Your true identity is not borrowed and cannot be bought with money but can be worked on by yourself through determination. 

I had a meeting with one of the guys I admire in the 21st century generation, Thulani Mphahlele and he was telling me about his organisation, The CEO Speaks. He said “we all have the power to engineer our lives”. I guess it so true. The reality, however, is that others have engineered their lives to death.  There are many people who have scraped off their beautiful self to “things” they do not enjoy. What is the use of spending years and years trying to fake being someone you do not know while there is a beautiful woman or a handsome man in you wrapped in God’s glory? Embrace yourself and enjoy your life.

Peeling off the layers of toxicity

If there is a tough thing that we can do for ourselves, it is peeling off the layers of mistaken identity. We ought to build the image that is locked within us by God, the creator and giver of life even if it is difficult. I can make reference of many people who have found what they were born to do, sharpened their skill and have become internationally recognised heroes in the world’s hall of fame. 

We can talk of Dr John Tibane, who based on his intellectual gifting was directed into becoming a medical doctor. He later realised that it was not what he wanted to be, that is what people wanted him to be. He left medical practices and became a well-recognised speaker who now is enjoying the arena and empowering people’s lives than he would being a Doctor.  

People like Nick Vujicic, a man who has broken beyond extreme boundaries and hit the sky with brain power and limitless attitude. He writes in his book, life with no limits that “knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power”. Now that is being free from the ideologies of others about you and mastering the true you. This man has no legs or arms. And yet he lives his life better than many who have. I mean, what is stopping you from being the best you can be? You are far too smart to be the only thing standing on your way.

Eliminate yourself from the boundaries of people’s idea of you. People, who set their agenda of you, lie to you, waste your time and mislead you to what they think you are. You are a person by yourself and not according to what other say of you. You have to get out of your way and stop limiting yourself by embracing wrong ideologies, opinions and perceptions of you.

Challenge yourself

Set your mind to a goal that you have never attained before. It does not have to be an extrinsic challenge. It must be something that you have personally desired to do. It could be a dream you have been laying off for years and were intimidated to follow, it could be a course you wanted to enrol, or a business you were told it’s too big for you. Give it a try. 

What you need to do is try to answer this question: what do I stand to lose for doing or not doing this? Step up, step out and climb that mountain. After all,  you will never know if you can do it until you try. So you have to put your attitude, your mind power, your skills and all to the test.

Invest in your mind

A friend of mine is writing a book which will be released soon. In his book, Investment in your personality, Nyiko L. Mthombeni writes, “the greatest investment is not in things, but in you. Your mind is a garden that can only be watered through use”. I totally agree. I will publish a summary of his book in this blog later on for you to read.

Your mind is the best factory where all products, tangible and intangible are manufactured. Napoleon Hill said “more gold has been mined in the mind of man than from the earth”. That is a reason enough to make you want to invest in it because more gold is found in there. You can be physically impaired, but if your mind is still intact, you can live beyond what many physically abled people can achieve. But you have to know yourself well enough to get to that.

If you do not live up to the reality of your purpose, you rob the world of what God has invested in you. Bonnke Shipalana asked a question that is very profound and I want to leave you with it; “should you die, what would the world have lost?’. Dr Myles Monroe said the richest place on earth is the cemetery. People have died with ideas never realised, dreams never pursued, books never written, music never sang. 

Refuse to miss out on your identity!

STEP OUT, STEP UP-Pursuing God''s big idea

Step-Out, Tep-Up 2

Ever wondered why certain things that you so much desire are not happening as you wish they should be happening. You have dreamed, talked, written down, thought about it so many times but nothing seems to be moving beyond the thought life. Life seems to be moving like a small wheel in one small area.  I mean, when you look back over your life, nothing much has changed except that now you maybe in another grade, or promoted to another position, married with kids. BUT, personally, you have not changed. Your dreams are still at that stage where they were few years ago. That book has not been written, the business is not yet registered, the problems you had are still the same, you still financially limited as before. The question is WHY?

I believe I may be on to something here. Not that all the answers have been written in this blog, but I want to try and set you on a mind journey of self-discovery. As long as your life's environment has not changed, your life may still remain the same. 

The Metamorphosis of Caterpillar 

Each and every person’s life has to go through various development stages in order to mature to the fullness of his or her potential. Imagine the beautiful butterfly that you may have seen recently in the garden. Before it matured to that beautiful, colourful, admirable and decorative state, it was but an egg, the size of a Sesame seed. The little seed was laid underneath a green leaf somewhere in the garden and abandoned to hatch on its own.

The egg hatches into a living organism less admirable, a Worm. When we see a worm in our environment we hardly take a second thought but hastily suck the life out of it with a shoe, or plank, or whatever it is. Like you my friend, at some point you may be feeling like the worled is sucking the life out of you. Being rejected refused all over and everywhere you go. You may have tried this and that to set your self apart from the pain of rejection, failure,  resentment,etc, but you still find yourself rejected.   

Don’t worry; you are just a caterpillar, a worm going somewhere to be a beautiful butterfly. The caterpillar begins to eat away the shell of its egg for nutrients. There after it eats every leave it finds for days. It has to survive on its own.

Man was made to find his own means of living. We cannot afford to live without having to work for something to sustain us. The caterpillar there after finds a small twig, hangs itself there fixatedly and peels off its old skin. That is the skin that held her up as a crawling organism.

After few hours or days, it will hide under a new shell while developing into a new being with wings. It thereafter emerges as completely new organism, a butterfly with beautiful wings. And it flies away to anyplace where it admires to reach, eat in new grounds, break new heights and reach new territories. I can almost hear you say; so what? It’s a butterfly, it’s meant to fly! Yes, that is true. It is meant to fly. What are you meant to be? 

You are meant to be big, live a purpose driven life, live out your dreams, fulfil your calling, make a difference and touch people’s lives. Your life is totally different from that of a caterpillar or a butterfly. But a caterpillar knows that it is not just a caterpillar, it is a butterfly hidden in a worm’s body. So are you, an executive hidden in a student body in the class room. You are a President hidden in a servant’s body. A business woman hidden in a cashier’s uniform. The point is, you are more than what you think yourself to be. 

How to step out

In my previous article titled Step-out-Step–up I wrote that you have to think outside the box, think creatively and plan into the future. I want to add some more things for you to know and do in order to separate yourself from here and climb to there. But before that, let me quote again from that article:  “ to step out means to consciously determine to move outside the normal circle of thought, language, actions and step into an arena where you see things from a magnifying glass. Where you do  not only see your life in today’s terms but also in impending metamorphosed state and be prepared to work it”. That’s where you need to head to:

1. Realise that you are not a regular person.  

You are made of the image of the Most High God to manifest His creative ideas on earth.

2. Realise that there is a higher life awaiting you.

No one can achieve beyond the limitations of his or her own belief. Your life, your success, your vision is measure of what you have chosen to believe.  God has place within each one of us a higher call of His purpose. That purpose is intertwined with the very strong urges and desires that are not yet met. God exposes them as hunger or irritations to you. He knows that you are capable of sorting them out, step up to the game. Until you believe that there a life of purpose awaiting you, you will remain a caterpillar crawling from here to there for life. 

3. Realise that failure is not final

Dr Myles Monroe said failure is not the absence of success; it is the neglect of trying. When we meet failure, we need to step up, try again. Success is not achieved on one attempt. There should be a repetition of efforts towards a greater goal. 

4. Align yourself with the original intent

Lean to speak the right words to yourself. Say to yourself that “I am bold. I am confident. I am smart. I am capable. I am not a failure. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am blessed. I am a winner”. Keep saying words like that until they become real in your own imagination. That is how God sees you. 

When you align yourself to God, you become like the tree planted by the rivers of water (see Psalm 1). The tree has constant supply of nutrients and is able to bear fruit in season. Even if it loses its leaves in the dry season, it remains with more green leaves because of its attachment to the source of life.

Proper alignment can be better explained using the life and function of a moon. The moon has no light of its own. Even though it lights up the earth beautifully at night, it has no light on its own. what it does so good is the way it aligns itself with the bright light from the  sun and it emits that same light from the sun to us. The moon positions itself at a good angle that allows it to receive sufficient light from the sun and then reflect it to the earth. And then we celebrate the moon and thank God the nights are not as dark as should be because of that. The moon acts as a mirror. It mirrors the glory of the sun. It has no glory of its own.

Your position with the creator affects your productivity. Imagine what it would be like to be constantly connected to God and receiving guidance from Him every step of the way. We would be able to display His glory all the time, with ease.  Jesus when speaking with His disciples in John 15:4-5 said “abide in me…then you shall bring forth much fruit”. That’s the beauty of it. Stay connected, and fruitfulness in accordance with your potential is possible. And you will increase. Our fruitfulness is hidden, secured and sustained when we connect ourselves with the source.