A PERSONAL LEADERSHIP DIALOGUE BETWEEN MOTHER AND SON
by Nhlanhla G. Mafarafara
“ I would rather die trying to save my friends and family than toil all year and accumulate wealth only to enjoy it lonely.” Said Bason, an the adopted son of the Mpengu family. Bason was adopted when he was three weeks old after he was found by a strange dog at a dumping side near a Texi Rank in Soweto. He was short, muscular, dark skinned, broad chest, thick voiced and fine young man. It seemed as though the Creator had given him everything to earn him a pass through life. After all he was a rejected son whom genuine love from a stranger. He always thanks God for the Dog that saved him.
Over the years, he and his siblings, most of which never sow the chalkboard of a high school class beyond Standard 7. When their voices began to thicken, their father, Hans, as he was known in Elim, instructed them to fend for their younger sisters, mother and grand parents. Hana’s way of life was such that they must spend 6 months planting, growing and harvesting food for the next six months or so.
Philosophy that is bigger than life
His philosophy was simple: work in spring and summer, harvest at the end of summer and beginning of Autumn and enjoy family time sipping coffee and telling stories with family all winter. He learned this principles from his great-grandfather, Tshibvumo ha MAKWARELA. Tshibvumo had 6 wives, 14 sons, 15 daughters, 6 adopted daughters and13 grand children. He said it was not enough, he wishes he could have been able to adopt more children, but he died early. So the principle have been passed from generation to generation. Bason was a beneficiary of this workaholic and life smart old papa. It seems they had much bliss working in their farm, taking care chicken, pigs, goats and sheep. They also had a vast grazing land and vegetation. He also had over 22 men working in the farm. He refused to hire women, saying that “man was born to protect and provide for the woman.”
Bason, the educated son
Bason, was a 31 year old graduate from University of Venda. He graduated top of his class and was offered a position to serve articles as trainee attorney in MMM Attorneys in Polokwane with an option to become partner. He accepted it and worked hard to earn 20% shareholding as partner within 3 years. At this time, had almost forgotten everything he was taught by his father about work and living with people. At least until a tragedy hit the family. His father died of heart attack on his way to the farm. He was found dead, 3 days after he disappeared. Now his siblings, who had never tasted working for a salary or living in a city needed him at home for two reasons. One to bury their father with dignity and secondly to protect the legacy of his father. They were about to lose the land.
As he looked back, he realised that everything his father fought was too valuable than the degree and money he got. Well, except that he could now negotiate in English and Afrikaans. He could not be cheated because he understood the law and the language in which it was written. “Bason” called his mother. “Let me remind you of something that I think you missed in the 31 years of your eating pap.” She paused a little, took a sip of goat milk that was sitting still in a round, brown and white floral clay jar.
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“Your father never left this family. For 71 years. In the 50 years of marriage, I sow him everyday. In the 31 years of your life, I sow you every day for 20, the last 11 I had to apply for special permission to see you. Your father worked 7 months a year, but we ate for 12 months without shortage. Not even a single day did we lack fresh milk, fresh vegetables, meat or money to buy what we needed. He never went to school, but he was smart. Way smarter than you with a modern Certificate.”
She stood up, took her scarf and wrapped it around her neck. “Come, let me show you something. Then we will seat and drink juice while I you some of the character traits of a leader from the perspective of ANTS. .” She Walked to a mother room, where only a few of his siblings had been there before. The room was full of pictures and art work displayed on the wall. “This is your father and grand fathers private room. It’s full of memories. I want to share a secret with you. Can you handle it?”
Bason looked at his mother and Nodded, almost with a face that did not show certainty.
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“I have never seen your father forsake his brothers. Wild animals would come here to prey on our animals, your father and his brothers would stick together. I have seen them come home carrying one another, crying from the heat of the wounds they sustained when defending their life stock.
I have seen them work in scorching summer heat to provide for us. They never worked far from one another. No one was allowed to work alone. When ever someone harvested a big or heavy, the others would leave their lots and help the one with a heavy load. When it was raining, they build huts in the field to find warmth and protection. And to protect their harvest. When animals came to attack, all of them went in to fight.”
Bason still looked puzzled. He told me that he felt like he was reading one of the beautiful history books about black people in the homelands.
“During the winter times, your father and his brothers Would seat around the fire, to tell the stories of how they survived. They used this time to recoup and bond and to plan how to go about the next planting season, which and how many animals to sell and to identify potential new customers. Our compound was always full of white People from all over the land coming here to buy pigs from your father. As I speak now, even if we do not sell anything for the next 5 years, we will live like royal people because of the work that your father has one before he died.”
“Are you saying that Papa had savings to last the whole family five years without working?” Bason asked
“Yes. Yes my son. Your father was not a lazy man. And he was not dumb either.”
She looked at him almost as though she wanted him to take it all in. He on the other hand looked like as a ghost has just passed right before his eyes. He was struggling to adjust to this truth. His idea of life was you have to work daily to eat daily. He did not know about working smart.
“Son, how long have you been working?”
“Seven years, mama. Why?”
“How much do you have in savings?” She ignored his question.
“Around R35k, or so and few insurance policies that will pay out when I die.”
“Ok. How much do you earn per month?”
“Eh, ma! Why do you ask such personal things?”
“Son, the investments of your father is over R3m in cash reserves and over R37m in live stock, plantation, land and machinery combined. I am old, and will never suffer being broke a day in my life till I die. You on the other hand, has had good education that money can buy, but you still have to graduate from the first basic level at the school of life.”
The more she spoke, the more puzzled he looked.
“The school of life, my son”, she went on to explain; “…it is the school where you will never meet a teacher in a lecture room. There is no one to set exam or to mark you wrong or write, life does. We have learned that if we weight for the right time to do the right thing, we will never be ready for opportunities. That is easy to let go. But it’s much harder to be in winter in your life and have no food to eat no wood to burn in the cold winter night.”
She stopped speaking because it looked like she was flying further away from him. Her face was filled with sympathy. Obviously, he was blind to life.
“Ma, we have electric heaters these days. Even our cars can warm us up while we drive.”
“How can you be so educated and yet be so dumb?!... don’t you understand what I am saying to you? Gosh!” She worked out.
***
I will not be able to teach the valuable lessons in this story. You just have to find them. I hope you do.
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